It's *not* only a race

A week ago I pulled something in my groin. I ran .5 mile this week. I am running the Miami Marathon next Sunday. I am in pain- although its getting better with rest. I am hoping that writing down my thoughts will help clear my head of the negativity that has been consuming me.

• Running clears my head. I am going batshit crazy right now. Partly because of not being able to run, Mostly because I am supposed to run a marathon in 6 days and cant run.

• The $$$ spent on Airfare, Hotel, Race Entry, food, new shoes, boarding for CB....

• The thought of not being able to "suffer" with Tribu for 26.2 miles on one of the most scenic courses around makes me sad. Palm trees, ocean, south beach. Although it may be a different kind of "suffering" by Sunday if I cant run.

• I stayed optimistic all last week until Friday when I tried to run. It was a big FAIL. By Saturday I found a nice video of the 2011 Miami Marathon and was almost in tears watching it, thinking that I might have to pull out of this race.

• Saturday morning when I go to the expo, I will make the decision of whether or not I will run the full. If I cant run Friday afternoon, I will switch to the half. Half the suffering I suppose. I'll take my camera and document the race then.

• I just bought some Aspaeris Pivot Shorts that will be delivered early this week. Im hoping the compression will take some of the stress off of my injured area. and BTW, Best. Customer. Service. EVER. Ordered them 30 minutes ago and asked if they did express shipping on the online form. I got a phone call 20 minutes later to confirm they can ship them quick so I can have them for the race.

• I love to run. Races make me even more excited about running. I love the thought of a "moving city." I love reading the signs people make, I love making small talk with people on the course, I love experiencing races in places I haven't run before, I love the camaraderie of the runners, and the support of the volunteers and spectators, I love the electricity in the air before the start of the race, I love the feeling I get when the gun goes off and my heart flutters with anticipation of what will become of the next few hours.

• I love the feeling of crossing the finish line, knowing I left everything out on the course.

• It's not only a race. It's a celebration of the hard work put in over the past 3.5 months. It's the blood, sweat, emotional tears of training and enjoying the good moments along with the crappy ones.

I just hope the icing, rest, warm soaks, icy hot, resting, icing, icy hot can heal this annoyance in time so I can enjoy this race. It's the 10th anniversary of the Miami Marathon this year, and also the 10th anniversary of my first marathon (NYC). I want to run my heart out and enjoy every second.

It's not only a race.