Sunday, April 13, 2014

Eh, because the "plague."

A week ago I was planning out my next races for this year. Another possible marathon this spring, I mean, I could practically taste that BQ on Knoxville's hilly course. So many good memories of training plus the actual race left me hungry wanting more. One recovery week of 20 easy miles later, I was all set to conquer my next challenge.

 I signed up for the Fleet Feet Racing Team and enjoyed my 1st outdoor speed workout in probably over a year and felt really fantastic running some 600's with the group even with some serious sniffles. But the plague already had me in its grip. After taking off 4 running days this week (and one sick day at work) I ended up running another measly 20 miles for this week.
The past 10 weeks of training went by in a flash.

I mean at this point, I'm more concerned with being injury free, healthy, and happy than OMG MUST CHASE THE NEXT RACE, PR, or WHATEVER. I usually never get sick, so this threw me for a loop in my "plan all the thingz" mentality. I was on the 26.2 high post Knoxville, starting to think of a tentative buildup in my training and subsequently what my next move would be this spring only to be humbled again Because, the "plague." Or should I say "smart" since I surely don't want to end up on the Injured Reserve List and purposely took off each of those 4 days to ensure I was recovering properly, because the "plague."
Seeing him happy melts my heart.

And sure, I love PRs and the thrill of the race, but nothing beats a run with my pup and seeing him super happy. But in the most basic sense, I really just love running.

Balance.

And for as long as I am able, I do intend to push myself and train for PRs... Because it is important for me to continue to get better at life. I love the challenge of pushing myself beyond what I thought was possible and hitting new milestones and growth whether it be in running, my relationships, work, everything.
In my continual quest to get better at all the thingz, I think about this blog a lot. I love the connections I've made because of it but I've just got nothing to write. And as with all aspects of my life, I'd much rather put out quality than crap. 

When I was training I forced myself to write training logs not only because I enjoy going back to read them, but because writing consistently makes me a better writer. (Kind of like running consistently with quality miles will make you a better runner. Duh.) But now that I'm not training for anything specific, it's like "what the eff do I write about now?"
Paad, L and I at 3FFF.

I feel like I'm at a crossroads with my blog. I'm not enjoying reading blogs for the most part and just feel this whole blogging thing is so stale. Maybe that will change in the future. However, I don't ever intend to share anything truly personal on this page as long as it's still set to "public."  Maybe i'll dig out one of my paper journals for those posts?

Currently, spending quality time with my family and pup and doing well professionally are taking precedence over Xaarlin.com  Perhaps just writing this post (and forcing out a few more) will bring back the creative writing juices?
Enjoying 70 degrees Sunday before the temps fell 30 degrees within 3 hours.

Until then, I'll just continue to enjoy life with the people who are most important to me.
I loved this "outtake" from our photo sesh today. Matching stride for stride with CB.

And maybe I'll get inspired to write something interesting again...

-xaar

11 comments:

  1. well I really enjoy your blog, so I hope you don't close the doors on it. I will say, I feel like my life is super boring lately..and you know what..boring isn't bad..but I agree, I don't post because I feel I am boring

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    1. Aww thanks :) Boring is never bad, and its all relative anyways. It just comes down to what you want to share and/or how you want to share it.

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  2. Your blog rocks, so it would be sad if you stopped writing it, but I can understand that everything has a lifespan (especially blogs - gingerfoxxx, stoprunningdad for example). Sounds like this may be a temporary thing for you. If I need a break, I'll go a month or so without blogging. However, I always seem to come back to it eventually. It's nice to know it's there if and when I have something I want to say or have a few pictures sitting around that I want to tell a story with.

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    1. you're too kind! :) And you couldn't be more accurate- the blog will always be waiting for you when you have a story to tell. Guess I need to release the feeling of guilt for neglecting it.

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  3. I relate to pretty much all of your thoughts about blogging right now. There are so many things I don't want to write about because they're too personal, or too boring, or because I want to be able to enjoy them without feeling like I have to validate them via social media. But sometimes blogging is still fun and useful - like with training and race reports and such.

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  4. I totally get ya. I have blogged more since moving out here than at any other time (well, maybe with the exception of when I was running while pregnant), and a lot of the time, aside from writing training recaps, I wonder what the hell I'm doing it for. I will say, however, that I very much enjoy your blog... and even if you stop writing for a little bit, you should still consider posting pics periodically (photo essay, much?!) because they are always AWESOME and god.. how they make me pine to be back in Chicago... :) but anyway. Glad you're beginning to feel human again. :)

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  5. The whole blogging culture nowadays? Yes. You get me.

    I keep my blog because I feel like if I don't write often, I lose my mojo (if you don't use it, you lose it). Most of the time, my posts are crap, but I like writing them anyway.

    I guess if you have a story to tell, tell it, and if you go a long time without writing, just let us know every once in awhile that you're still alive :)

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  6. Oh gosh, never feel bad or guilty for not blogging! I'm happier to read a few sporadic but quality posts than to see bloggers spewing out the same old crap, day after day, week after week. It's the same reason my blog goes quiet from time to time - I don't want to force it. If the blog doesn't serve any purpose right now, take a break.

    but to second Erin's suggestion, I'd be more than happy to see posts of nothing but pics of CB around the city :)

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  7. Usually, writing this type of post makes me want to write, too. I am like Mo - if I don't do it frequently, I lose my mojo and feel off! But everyone blogs for different reasons and you shouldn't if you aren't feeling it! And DON'T feel guilty (like you said in your comment to Pete). It's not like you are going missing. We chat almost every day! It's interesting... the blog sometimes is a tool for meeting people then staying in touch, but then it goes beyond that to chat, emails, in person meetings... and then the purpose of it changes a bit!

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  8. This post really made me think about so many things. First of all - running. I suppose with running while pregnant and then post-partum, I've come to appreciate staying healthy and injury-free as opposed to speed and PR's and all that jazz. Even now, I have goal races in mind, but my goals have nothing to do with time, at least at this point.

    And blogging. YES. I've honestly gotten so bored with reading some blogs - so many of them just seem to say the same things, and I myself struggle with content. I don't really know what I am getting at here - it's just that I can definitely relate to what you wrote today in so many ways!

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  9. I like your blog. Please continue writing. :-)

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